A little something for those of you who miss the 80s. I was looking over some of the fan commentary, one day, and thought "So much fussing and feuding over the proper way of disposing of Wesley Crusher, when there are much more important things to worry about in life. Like how to get rid of Dr.Bashir. Let's get to work.

As the scene opens, we see an away team from Deep Space Nine in the throne room of the Empress / High Priestess of a matriarchally governed world. As this is Star Trek, of course, the away team consists of all of the command personnel, honoring the centuries old military tradition of sending the high command out on every recon mission. As Dr.Bashir is on that away team, the High Priestess has just been hit upon.

A hush falls over the room.

First contact with an alien race has just ended in a cheesy pickup line and a diplomatic incident. Captain Sisko profusely apologises, slapping Bashir across the back of the head. "Perhaps it would be best if you go now", says the High Priestess. "I understand", says Sisko, and the away team returns to Deep Space Nine.

A few weeks pass, and soon everybody aboard, even Sisko, has forgotten the incident. Bashir is in Quarks, when a simmering golden light envelops him, and the bar fades away. The light fades away, and he find himself facing a young woman who seems strangely familiar. She lies in bed naked, moaning and trying to get up. Bashir understands immediately. She must want him so very badly. "Hush, my dear, let me do all of the work", he says. "With my knowledge of the female anatomy, I shall pleasure you as no lover has pleasured you before". He disrobes swiftly, and gets into bed aside the young woman, who seems more than a little groggy. "No, no, this is not possible", she says, "what on earth could I have ever done to deserve this?" "Hush, my dear", Bashir responds, and sets to work on her. As he just hits mid climax, the blinding golden light envelops him again, and he materialises atop the D'abo table. "You know the rules, Doc", says Quark, wiping his face. "No shirt, no shoes, no service".

A week passes. Bashir is whistling a happy tune, daydreaming about that beautiful and mysterious young woman he has met, wondering if she has fallen in love with him yet. The shimmering light surrounds him again, but this time he doesn't find himself in a bed chamber. He finds himself in an operating room, surrounded by ten of the guards from the High Priestess' palace. They overpower him, binding to an operating table, as an aenesthesiologist puts him part of the way under, and a team of physicians enters the room to begin surgery. He feel the knife slicing in as two very significant glands are removed from his body. They are performing a sex change operation on him, complete with DNA alteration.

In significant pain, and still not entirely awake, he finds himself being dragged into a bed chamber, and dumped upon the bed. It's at that point that he sees the glow of a transporter beam, and fading into form inside of it is ... himself, only still male. No! He tries to get away. "Hush, my dear, let me do all of the work", the other Bashir says. "With my knowledge of the female anatomy, I shall pleasure you as no lover has pleasured you before". "No, no", says the now feminized Bashir, "this is not possible. What on earth could I have ever done to deserve this." "Hush, my dear", says the other Bashir. Five painful minutes later, the transporter beam surrounds the other Bashir, who vanishes. The new Bashir lies in bed, sobbing.

Bashir is now pregnant with child, but as the surgeons didn't bother to widen his hips, he knows that the prognosis is not good. S/he begs with his captors to release him, and they grant his/hers request, but it is too late. As the shuttle begins to approach the nearest Starbase, Bashir begins to go into labor. Rushing their patient into the delivery room, the team does all that they can, but it is too late. The young woman, known in the records only as "Jane Doe", has died in childbirth, but, at least, the baby was saved. Moved by the tragic death of the young mother, the chief physician in attendance decides to adopt the child and raise it as if it were her own. Holding the newborn aloft, she says out loud "Wesley. Yes, that sounds right. I'll name you Wesley Crusher".

................. ------------------> To be continued